Just go, C!
I'm Charity, a proud auntie, wine lover, semi-nerd, and dreamer who can't stay in one place for too long.
Before I started writing this post, I took a minute to read the post I wrote just before I left Australia to come to Thailand. It made me want to travel back in time to that person and give her a huge hug and tell her she was about to have the experience of a lifetime!
I was so terrified, then. I had never been in a country that didn't have English as one of the primary languages, and that was so very different from the culture that I was used to. When I arrived in Bangkok, I thought I'd made a huge mistake. I definitely didn't love Bangkok, and I thought, well if this is how Thailand is going to be, I'm really not sure I want to spend a year of my life here. And while my opinion of Bangkok has softened only slightly since then, I am so glad I gave the rest of the country a chance. And more importantly, and I'm glad I pushed myself and gave myself a chance to prove that I could manage and work my way through it. I am amazed at how much I've learned in the 14 months I've spent in this country. I can say with a load of pride and confidence that I'm not the same person who flew into Bangkok for the first time. Without a doubt, I've been molded and strengthened, and even a little softened in the heart region, thanks to my students and the kindness of the Thai citizens. I think what I've learned about myself is true for many of us. I believe we have a tendency to sell ourselves short. Humans are highly adaptable creatures. In less than a year, I figured out how to function in a country that couldn't be more different than the one I came from. I think many of us could accomplish this sort of thing if we just made the decision to give it a shot. On the flip side, I've learned, and am still learning, about how much I've allowed fear to control nearly every aspect of my life up until now. It's gradually getting better, and there's nothing like throwing yourself into a developing country to set changes into motion, but there is a lot I still need to do. I struggle with people telling me that what I'm doing is "brave" because there is still so much that I'm afraid of. But, being in Thailand has allowed me to let go of some of that mental baggage, and for that I'm extremely grateful. Most of the problems we have follow us no matter where we go. There isn't any "escaping" the mental battles that I've been fighting for most of my life. The only way to deal with them is to confront them. However, one of the many gifts I've been granted by traveling is the gift of perspective. I knew before coming here I was fortunate in many aspects of my life, but wow, I really do have a lot to be thankful for. So no matter what battles I may be fighting, I believe this compounding sense of gratitude will give me a lot of the ammo I need to work through them. So, that's a little snippet about what I've learned about myself. I've learned a lot about Thailand and the Thai people, as well, of course. Thailand has such a rich history, and I'm astounded at how many of their traditions have withstood the test of time. It's also a land of contradictions. 99% of the population is Buddhist, yet the country has among the worst track records of sex tourism and human trafficking in the world. (It's currently ranked Tier 3 according to the U.S. Department of State - not good.) Pollution is a huge problem here. Ethical treatment of animals is also a glaring (and often heartbreaking) problem. I try not to be too judgmental, because Lord knows we definitely have our fair share of issues back home, but these are critical issues that I genuinely hope that the country fights to improve in the coming years. Drawbacks aside, I could easily list at least a hundred things I love about Thailand. The best memories I have are of the interactions I've had with Thai people and with my students. I have a mental treasure chest just overflowing with moments that captured my heart and soul. And, I have seen some of the most beautiful landscapes and historic monuments in my time here. One of the most frustrating things about not living somewhere for a longer period of time is wishing you could have had time to see everything, but I'm satisfied with all that I was able to see. I think I got to sample a little of everything that Thailand has to offer, so I'm pleased with that. In just a few short days, I'll be flying out of the country that I'll always consider another home. I am determined to come back again, even if just for a visit. I want to thank my Thai friends who read my blog; I'm so thankful that I was able to meet you, and I want you to know that you're special to me and you've touched my life in a very meaningful way. I'm so glad that my journey crossed with yours, and I hope to reconnect with you at another point in our journeys! To my friends back home, you were an important part of my time in Thailand, too, whether you realize it or not. Thank you for being a source of familiarity, love, humor, and support during this time. I hope to see you in a couple more months! Farewell, Thailand - I hope I was able to leave something good behind in exchange for the countless blessings you've bestowed upon me. Kob khun maak kha.
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AuthorHi! I'm Charity. I'm from Omaha, Nebraska, USA. I quit my job in October 2016 to travel the world. Archives
June 2022
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