Just go, C!
I'm Charity, a proud auntie, wine lover, semi-nerd, and dreamer who can't stay in one place for too long.
Well, the time has come to say adieu to 2016 and usher in a new year that many people I know are more than excited to see.
I haven't made New Year's resolutions for many years. For me, it's more a time of reflection and hope that bigger and better things will happen for me. I've had some pretty stellar New Year's celebrations in my past. However, ringing in 2016 was not a very celebratory time for me. Around this time last year, I was finally diagnosed with PCOS after a few unproductive visits to doctors over the years who shrugged off my symptoms as merely hereditary and told me nothing could really be done about it. This was a relief, actually - I finally had something to work with and felt like I could at least manage it. I made changes to my diet and saw the results fairly quickly. Unfortunately, I also took the advice of the doctor to begin medications which would take several months before I could see any positive effects. Those several months were very tough for me. I was struggling at work - I found it difficult to motivate myself to work hard and do what I needed to do to be successful. I was losing clients and not getting enough referrals to fill the defecit. I'd go home from work at night and just plant myself in front of the TV, usually drinking and often making poor eating choices. It was a vicious cycle. I'd have "good" weeks and "bad" weeks and then the good weeks turned into a good day here and there and the rest were miserable. I was depressed. The final straw came in August when I started to have some pretty dark thoughts about myself and contemplated doing something terrible to end it all. I recall very vividly that I was on my way to Walgreens to pick up the prescription refill and something inside me told me that that was the last thing in the world that I should be doing. I called the doctor's office where my more recent doctor practiced and spoke with a nurse who was there on a Sunday. I was crying uncontrollably and told her what I was thinking about doing to myself. She agreed, of course, that I needed to stop taking the medication right away. I'll never forget the kindness in her voice. She listened to my sobbing and genuinely cared. She was the light in a very dark moment for me. I think in that moment, something else shifted within me. I was finally realizing that what I was doing wasn't making me happy and something had to change. There had to be something else in this life that would ignite something within me - passion, joy, anything. My mood improved dramatically a few weeks after I quit the medication (imagine that) and I started asking myself what I really wanted for myself and for my life. My wonderful friends Jennie and Shari were instrumental in this contemplative phase. Jennie asked me what I would do if money weren't an object. Without any thought or hesitation, I responded, "I would travel." She replied, "So why don't you?" Wowie, who knew that such a simple question would be the snowflake that started the avalanche. Sure, I could have just stayed at the same job and funded an occasional trip, but I knew better, and so did my friends - I needed to do something BIG. After a few weeks of crunching numbers, weighing all the pros and cons, and running the idea past some very important people in my life, I made what could possibly be the most terrifying and important decision I will ever make in my life. A few months later, I am definitely glad I made the decision to travel. I am certainly being confronted with all of my insecurities. Most of the backpackers I've encountered in New Zealand are younger and thinner (ha), and I am having a difficult time letting my shield down to approach people and make new friends. It's been quite uncomfortable, really, but that was the point, wasn't it? If I'm uncomfortable, it means I'm growing. I'm becoming someone new. And that, to me, is what a new year is all about. So, on to 2017 we go. I will be leaving for Australia starting next week and will be staying there until late February. From there, I'll be going to Thailand. I've enrolled in a TESOL/TEFL course in Hua Hin which will allow me to teach English to children in Thailand. I'll likely stay there for a year or so. It'll be good to build some of my financial reserves back up so I can do more of what my heart and soul craves. And, it'll hopefully be a gateway opportunity to travel within Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, etc. I want to thank everyone who has been reading this blog, following me on social media, texting me to say hi and check in - all of that good stuff has kept me going when I've questioned whether or not I've done the right thing. I'm very excited about what's ahead, and I hope and wish for all of you that you'll find your light and your joy, or at the very least take steps to get closer to it. Happy New Year! With love, A much happier C.
6 Comments
Petey
12/30/2016 10:00:00 pm
Hey C! So glad you found happiness! Make yourself uncomfortable and make new friends. Your little witty self will have them laughing. Let them hear your contagious laugh! Happy New Years! Safe travels and keep in touch.
Reply
Charity
12/30/2016 11:30:13 pm
Thanks Petey - love you, girl!!
Reply
Jeanie
12/31/2016 12:37:46 am
I'm so proud of you...and love the inspiration in your words. Keep it up. Live your dreams!
Reply
Steph W
12/31/2016 06:44:03 am
So happy for you! Had no idea you had been dealing with some of the same issues I do. Thanks for being so open. So Proud of you and excited to see your adventures.
Reply
Sharon Wright
12/31/2016 10:00:47 am
Wow! Thank you for writing this blog. What a inspiration! Good for you for following your passion, dream and happiness.
Reply
Bela
3/4/2017 06:05:01 pm
Charity,
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorHi! I'm Charity. I'm from Omaha, Nebraska, USA. I quit my job in October 2016 to travel the world. Archives
June 2022
Categories |